Q. I have highlighted hair, and I really like the “mussed” look, but my hair is so straight! I want a perm, but my stylist refuses to give me a perm. She says it would be too damaging. Why won’t she give me what I want? I AM the customer, after all!

A. You should be grateful your stylist cares about you and your hair so much. Highlighting the hair, especially if it’s very light, is damaging to the hair shaft. Your stylist must recognize that your hair would not be able to maintain the curl of a perm, and she cares more about you, your hair and your appearance than she does about making money. Many times lightening the hair stresses the “integrity” of the hair shaft. Highlighting is, after all, a chemical change made within the shaft of hair. By adding another chemical change to the salt and disulfide bonds within the hair with the permanent solution, your stylist may realize your hair would be, in laymen’s language, “fried”. She’s trying to protect you from making a mistake that would take a least a year to correct. Sometimes, highlights made by using “color” instead of “bleach” are able to withstand the effects of a perm. However, your stylist is the professional, and you should trust her judgment. After all, you are a walking advertisement for her business...and she wants you looking your best!